Spellbook

Introduction

Sigils

This sigil is the Lattice of Desire, and represents myself (Urielle) as a subject.

The wave motion in the sigil to indicate flow is intentionally evocative of water. In particular, I was drawing from the mental image of the ocean when creating this sigil. The link between desire and bodies of water is well-established within psychoanalysis. Sándor Ferenczi’s Thalassa: A Theory of Genitality is a primary example of this, as is the spiritual ecstasy of “oceanic feeling” discussed in letters between Sigmund Freud and Romain Rolland. I personally experienced this oceanic feeling in late 2023 during a vacation to America - specifically, during a visit to the Virginia Aquarium & Marine Science Centre. While standing in front of a large floor-to-ceiling glass panel into a tank full of ocean life, I suddenly felt a deep connection with these creatures and simulatenously a sharp alienation from my own sense of personhood. This strange spiritual experience that has resonated with me to this day.

Each of the three lines that form the lattice represent their own respective archetypal figure that collectively form myself (Urielle) as subject. These figures are The Fool, The Doll, and The Changeling. On their own, these three figures make up a symbolic triskelion through their relations to each other - deeply connected, orbiting each other, but never quite touching.

Tarot

My interest in tarot began when Bladee released his album The Fool in May of 2021. I had been a fan of Bladee before then - I had started listening to his work around the time EXETER released in early 2020 - but The Fool made me fall in love with his music all over again. Arguably, it was the production from Ripsquad that really sold me on the album. They had previously produced Bladee’s classic Icedancer mixtape, the first Bladee project I had ever listened to. It still holds a special place in my heart to this day. Bladee’s music continued to play an important role in my life for the next few years, functioning as the unofficial soundtrack for my gradual self-acceptance as a transwoman. I still vividly remember the morning of May 8th 2022: riding the train home from the party where I had finally realised that I was transgender, trying not to cry whilst listening to Bladee songs such as “Chaos Follows”, “Waster”, and “MERRY-GO-ROUND”. I later adapted my online pseudonym of Urielle from the closing track of his album Spiderr, released in September of 2022.

The title of The Fool is, of course, a direct reference to the first card in the Major Arcana. Thematically, the archetype of The Fool shares certain parallels with Taoism - an branch of Eastern philosophy that I have drawn significant amounts of inspiration from in how I conduct myself.